What a week!.. Month?

I'm sorry that I've been distant this week- and most of this month! Things over here at 4BabyAndMom have been stressful to say the least. For those of you that have been reading since at least January know that my husband and I are "Non-relative Caregivers" for NewBaby.

The past couple of weeks there has been much drama between visitations and court and to say the mild least, it's been VERY frustrating! I have been telling the Guardian ad Litem that I feel like the social worker isn't maintaining the objectivity that she needs to work in the best interest of this child, and today that theory was confirmed. Unfortunately, because of all of the legal tape there is *nothing* that we can do. If we were literal foster parents we might have more swing, but there is nothing that can be done. I was called from court today to testify to clarify a situation, and then requested that the judge allow them to set up their times for visitation for this upcoming week. I was then put on hold and brought into a mediation room to discuss times and availability, and was attacked by the social worker and one biological parent.

To say that I felt betrayed and violated is the understatement of the year! I ended the phone call in shock and disbelief, feeling as if I was ambushed and wrongly accused of not being "flexible" when I have bent over backwards to try to accommodate everyone's schedule accordingly. My work life and my personal life have taken back burner to the NewBaby and the drama that's wrapped up in it. My friends and my family have noticed the toll that this has been taking on me recently, and that's not acceptable.

I do not know what we're going to do now. I have to discuss many things with my husband when he comes home form work today. Part of me wants to throw in the towel and walk away from the whole situation. The other part of me wants to keep fighting, but I feel that there's nobody truly on "my" side. The Guardian ad Litem has been, for the most part, but I don't know if that's "enough". It's been emotionally draining, and starting to interfere with my real life. My husband and I agreed in the beginning that *that* would be when we would withdraw our responsibility in this all.

The faith and hope that I had for "the system" has broken- shattered- so completely that as of right now, I have no idea if we'd ever be willing to become foster parents like we had thought about in the future. It's so hard to want to invest that trust, effort and energy into a system that's so dysfunctional. I know that everyone's experience is different, and I hope that there are amazing stories out there of how a situation like this was handled differently- but I am just truly disheartened today. I wish there was a way that more light could be shed upon this situation, and the matter in which it's been dealt with.

As of Monday, there will be more reviews and giveaways, sponsored by some more amazing companies. The first one will be for some beautiful handmade hairbows (these are sooo cute!) and the rest, well, you'll have to wait and see! If you haven't entered the Three Peas Co. pettiskirt giveaway, make sure you do so now- it ends TOMORROW! Scroll down on 4BabyAndMom or click the link above to read more about the company and see the skirt in action!

Thank you all for your well wishes and understanding, during this difficult period. I look forward to blue skies again soon!

~Lauren @4BabyAndMom