A Fresh Dose of Perspective

I do love the movie Ratatouille. Disney hit the nail on the head with a lot of areas most people should improve in... You know, areas like "judgement". Or "assumption". Or "chasing your dreams". Most ironically, it all boils down to "perspective". (See what I did there, boils down.) 

One may say I've been "well seasoned" but the one thing I always want YOU to say is that you like my perspective. Everyone sees things differently, there's no news flash there, but today there are so many people that tip toe around everyone else. There are others who put so much pressure on each other that they're likely to spontaneously combust in 3....2....1....

Seriously though, I'm so tired of bending over backwards for everyone in my life that I've decided to take the bull by the horns and put me first for once, in over 12 years. 

I recently learned how to crochet. When I say 'crochet' don't get your bloomers in a bunch. I'm not running and opening an etsy shop any time soon.. in fact, I only know how to do two stitches. Thankfully, that's all I need to know to be able to crochet a kick ass, super soft and snuggly blanket. I started on one for my friend's daughter (who is now 4 months old). By the time I finished learning, I thought the poor kid was going to be in kindergarten! Any who.. I figured it out, and then realized that it was so damn soft, that I should make one for me, for the couch, because we're always snuggly on the couch, and a blanket would be nice. So I got yarn and BOOM, made a blanket. 

My bestie comes over and called me an old lady. My neighbor told me I'm "channeling my dead grandmother" who, by the way, NEVER crocheted (to my knowledge) a day in her life. My husband rolled his eyes. 

Then I went to my daughter's away softball game. When I say away, I mean literally, an hour away from Bumblefuck in North Bumblefuck. I was glad I brought my crocheting. The umpire was a jackass. Changing the rules, yelling at our girls, and pissing off the parents. Other parents were upset, and challenged his calls a few times. Then it got worse. So much so that my loud NY mouth shouted, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP MAKING OUR GIRLS CRY CAN YOU AT LEAST EXPLAIN WHAT THEY'RE DOING WRONG?! C'MON!!" This was after he made 2 girls cry. Our girls (except 2) have never played a day in their life before this season. They had placed most of the season with the same sets of umps, and none of them called these shitty calls, or changed the rules. I got a round of applause, and then the ump threatened to kick us all out of the stands. 

The kids thought they were playing correctly, because it was how they were taught, but according to the ump, they were playing against that field/leagues rules. Whatever. He had shitty perspective. And a worse attitude, making kids cry. I bit my tongue, picked up my crochet and began to stitch away furiously. A few plays later, one of the moms said, "Did you see that?!" to which I reply, "NOPE, I'm CROCHETING", and the stands crack up. Now, at every game where the ump makes a crappy call, the other parents joke and pretend to stitch.. or ask for me to pass the blanket. One husband asked his wife why I always crocheted at games, to which she replied, "For sanity, and so we're not kicked out of the game." See, that lady right there, has good perspective. 

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Life has a funny way of happening.

Once upon a time, I was a mom blogger in the height of the mom-bloggy boom. (It's a real thing, I googled it.) I flew around the country, got to review the hottest toys, games, household gadgets and gizmos. I felt like I was someone important.

Then life hit me. Hard. And without support, I faltered. 

My son's Autism Spectrum Diagnosis (as well as his various other processing, functioning disorders) threw me for a loop. 

My daughter had some unexplained health scares, that while they're not as scary as they once were, they're still pretty damn scary. 

My mom died. It happens, but it's not supposed to happen until your parents are old and wrinkly. 

My baby (who's 3 and may forever be called "the baby") also got a diagnosis of Sensory integration and processing disorder. 

I started a new business, to try to supplement my income, and did pretty well with it. 

My best friend (since the 9th grade) passed away unexpectedly at 34 years of age. 

My marriage was falling apart, and while I have a few good friends where I live now, I was still missing something. 

An outlet. A place where I could be me- free of judgement on how fat or skinny I am, how pissed off at the world I sound, or why I'm excited because I found a bag of Cheetos on sale. I'm not a crazy coupon mom, and while I might post a recipe or two, this blog is not for that. 

Primarily, it's for me. To help me through this slump, and to help me find my voice again. 

It's for my kids- so that they can experience all of the fun things it is to be a kid of a bloggy mom. 

It's for my fans. Because once upon a time I had a shit ton of them, too. 

And it's for other women. Maybe they can read my stories, or experiences, or reviews, or whatever and relate. Know they're not alone, and they're not completely bat shit for feeling the way that they do.. about life.. about grief.. about parenting.. about everything. 

So... hey, I'm Lauren. I've lost myself in the past 2-3 years, and am actively looking for me again. I like books, music, travel, food, movies, wine, booze with the girls from time to time. I don't smoke, and I hate to exercise, even though I really need it, and should exercise more. My favorite place on earth to be is the beach, and while I love the change of seasons, most of the time (until it's 90* in November) I like living in the Tampa Bay area. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey, and I look forward to seeing some comments, so I know I'm not just talking to the walls. Or the computer. Or .. well, you get it. 

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