Tuesday, July 16, 2013

My Tween Stole from Me

Since our kids were babies, we've taught them to ask permission before they take something that is not theirs. We teach them to respect other people's things, and we encourage them to use their manner and say, "Please?", when they want something.

So why is it now, at ten years of age, I'm dealing with the unthinkable- my son is stealing from me.

At first it was little things, like food out of the fridge or pantry without permission. Okay, I know what you're going to say, "Every kid does that..it's not really stealing."

Then it moved to other little things, like gum from my purse without permission. Again, not a total travesty, but I made a big deal of it, because he went into my purse without permission, took something that didn't belong to him, and then tried to hide it. THEN when he got busted, he still tried to deny it, and say it wasn't him, despite the unusual overly minty freshness permeating from his mouth.

About six months ago, plus or minus a little, he took our debit card and charged $50 on the Wii for credits. My husband and I flipped out at him. We told him he was going to work it off, and we made him do as much manual labor that we could find and grounded him from everything about a week. I was so angry with him, and disappointed in him.

It stopped for a little while after that, but about a month or two ago, it started again. The lying about stuff "he didn't do" (which he most certainly did), and the taking gum, food, etc, without permission. It was happening more often, and it bothered me. We sat him down and discussed the whole thing with him, explaining how taking ANYTHING without permission is considered stealing, and when you're bigger and caught stealing you can go to jail. He apologized, and we moved along.

This morning, I checked my balance on my bank account, because I'm waiting for an auto-bill payment to hit, and I noticed two charges for Club Penguin. I did not purchase a membership, my husband didn't- so that left the only person who was on the computer- my son.

My husband confronted him while I was in the bathroom, and he denied it, until my husband told him it showed on the bank account. He took out my debit card, placed the order, put it back in my wallet, and back into my purse and went along- life as normal, and didn't tell me about it.

I don't know if I'm more ticked off that he went into my pocketbook without permission, used my card without permission, or tried to lie and deny that he did it!!!

I vented to a few friends and a couple of family members, and they said that they would be pissed. A few told me that every tween/teen goes through it at some point or another. I'm angry! I'm hurt! I'm incredibly disappointed.

I had two people ask me if I thought that with his processing disorders and the Autism, if he really, truly understood what he did. I don't know. I truly feel like he 150% knew what he was doing, knew that he'd probably get caught, and just didn't care. He's got such an entitlement attitude lately, I just don't know what to do.

The approval for the home ABA services can't come soon enough, because I'm on the verge of a complete meltdown on my end. The point of my rant is to ask you, my readers, if YOUR child or anyone you know has ever done anything like this? If so, how did you handle it? How do I handle this. Right now he's grounded, in his room, and not allowed to come out unless he has to eat or use the bathroom. I didn't raise my boy to be a thief. Help!!!!


Natasha Kay August 14, 2013  

There is a very simple solution to this problem! If he has no Wii, no computer, no iPad, no digital device...he will have nothing to use those credits for. I would not take away these for a week, or even two. I would take them away forEVER. Period.

The sense of entitlement you mention is a product of a comfortable first world life and so long as you enable him with these "rewards" that he has so clearly NOT deserved, you are showing him with your actions that his stealing is totally okay. Words mean nothing to a child of that age...you have to make the consequence HURT.


BlogMommas.com Powered By Ringsurf
Original Template created by: Ourblogtemplates.com Edited & Tweaked by Lauren from 4BabyAndMom