Sunday, January 17, 2010

I've been having a rough week...

You all know that in life things come up. Well this week has been especially difficult for me. I have two sisters, the oldest passed away in 1995. She was 25, and the 14th would have been her 40th birhtday. For some reason this birthday really seemed to knock me on my ass affect me more than years before.

This year my family is broken. My parents, after 43 years of marriage got a divorce; this is the first time (since Colleen passed away) that my family has been so damaged. My father has basically disappeared- which for a daddy's girl like me, has been very difficult. My husband doesn't get it, and thinks I'm hormonal. I probably am, but that's besides the point. 

Today is my birthday, and instead of being able to enjoy it with my FULL family- I'm down a sister, down a dad because of no other reasoning but his own, have a mom with cancer, another sister with something going on the doctors can't seem to pinpoint, and, well,  my stomach is in knots. Why do I let my emotions affect me so much?

It's weeks like this that I really hate being a female, miss Long Island, and wish I lived in a cottage far, far away.. with plumbing, of course!

Wishing you all a great three day weekend.


16 comments:

Max's Mommy January 17, 2010  

Sorry you have having a rough time. Big hugs to you!!

Jo Shabo January 17, 2010  

Happy birthday! I am sorry for your stress in your family- I am thinking of you!

shopannies January 17, 2010  

I am sorry you are feeling so low on a special day

Paula January 17, 2010  

Happy Birthday! I'm so sorry you're feeling the losses today. I can totally understand! I think you know my loss history.

Juliana January 17, 2010  

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. My brother killed himself in April and everyday is so very hard. My heart goes out to you. Happy Birthday and I hope you have a much better week this next week.

Shana January 18, 2010  

((((Lauren)))) I am sorry things are so rough right now. Just know your sister is smiling down on you watching you

Colleen January 18, 2010  

I am so sorry! ((hugs))

lfhpueblo January 18, 2010  

You're entitled to cry if you need to, simply because you're a woman.
Then after the crying you'll need to find your own way to get out of the blues.
Whether it be to focus on the things you have (e.g. you do still have your mom to give kind words and love to, you have a sister to also do such with, you have your own immediate family to love and inspire, you have your blog friends who care about you), or to mail a letter to your Dad with questions you have (or simply to write it, to get it off your chest), to scrapbook or journal pages about your beloved sister in Heaven and how she made your life better when she was here, so that you can focus on the good.
I really believe our loved ones don't want us sad or depressed because they are gone from our lives, they'd want us to go on and be happy and productive, living life to the fullest. That way their memories can be seen as a kite soaring above in a beautiful sun filled sky and not as an anchor pulling us down in discouragement or stopping us from moving forward.
Yet, only you and only in your own time can find ways to deal. So having been there myself, of course in different ways and such, will say a heartfelt prayer for you, that you can once again find your happiness. Remember if you were never born you could never have been a sister, a friend, a lover, a wife, a daughter, a mother and so much more. If you were never born you could have never brought any happiness to others, nor ever felt any in return, you could have never heard the giggles or teasing from your beloved husband.
I'm glad your sister had the years she did here on earth, because she got to know and love you and now she's getting to know and love our creator.

kenan and tree January 18, 2010  

Happy Birthday to you, and am so sorry to hear your having such a tough time right now. i can only imagine how hard that must be. (((hugs to you))) Eat lots of chocolate, it always makes me feel better. :)

MaryAnn January 18, 2010  

I am so sorry. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you

Xmas Dolly January 19, 2010  

Hey girlfriend, HAPPY BIRTHDAY from your Bloggin' Family! Now aren't you glad we didn't all show up on your doorstep for a piece of that cake? There's a very old song "Forget your troubles come on get happy the Lord is ready to take your hand...". Put your troubles behind you if only for today, and find your bestest friend and PAR-TAY!!! hugs!!!!

Brandy January 19, 2010  

I am sorry you are having a hard time, and on your birthday to top it all off, ugh! Sending big hugs!

Brandy

Lauren @4BabyAndMom January 20, 2010  

Awww, I love you ladies!! <3 Thank you for brightening this week for me!

Terra H. January 20, 2010  

So sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Happy birthday to you.

Reiza January 21, 2010  

I'm so sorry. I've lost two of my siblings and I never know how their birthdays are going to hit me. Sometimes, for no reason, they hurt worse than others. My husband doesn't get it either. Those of us who have been there, though, we do. I'm so sorry for your loss and for such a rough birthday anniversary.

helen January 21, 2010  

Hugs and prayers are sent your way as well as a few Long Island iced teas for the home sickness:) Love ya chica!

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